Sometimes, I wonder if I'm skating because I love the sport, or if really, it's because I'm a really competitive and envious person and I'm just trying to be better than other people. I won't name them, but I find myself really bothered by it, especially considering the two-year long break I took from skating. Sometimes, I think to myself, just where would I be in my skating had I not taken such a long break?
All my skating friends and I took a break around the same time. After coming back to skating, I started feeling like, I had to surpass where my friends were, and land my damn axel. My closest skating friends both had theirs before their break. I was just starting on mine. Worst part is that one of them had their on-ice axel. Like, before the break, I already knew they had their off-ice axel. However, just a couple of weeks ago, they were telling me a story that happened to them and it mentioned them doing an axel....on the freaking ice. It hit me right in my pride and my envious, competitive nature. It pissed me off the rest of the day that I just started feeling discouraged to even practice that session anymore. Meanwhile, only just this past weekend, my envy and competitiveness crippled again. I hate it, but I can't seem to get over my pride, and start acting like an immature, spoiled kid who didn't get what she wanted. I hate being taught by someone who isn't a qualified coach. Yeah, whatever, I get it. You're in a higher level than I am. But don't go teaching me things to fix an element that even you struggle to do. I don't want to go into too much detail. I chose not to say names for a reason and if I explain the story even more.... Anyways, again, my anger at the situation and at myself turned me off from practice. Yeah, again. My skating is so important to me. And I'm letting my attitude get in the way of being better than who I was the previous training session. I should be focusing on that instead of stupidly being a competitive idiot with the pride of a fucking loser. Whatever. Over and out.
0 Comments
Hey everyone!
Sorry for not posting in a long time, but I will be attending the Icehouse's Autumn Challenge competition on May 17. YES. THIS SATURDAY!! I'm so nervous! I've been practicing and practicing but I'm worried I will muck up certain elements that aren't particularly consistent yet...yes, my coach made me put in a change of foot in there (I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS A PART OF FREESKATE 4 WHAT?) and a inconsistent waltz-loop combination. Yes, since that was a part of Freeskate 4, I should have no excuse as of why that is not consistent, but uh.... I'M GONNA DIE ANYWAY. I could care less about winning actually, I just want to make sure I don't stuff it all up, even the elements I can do and are consistent. I will be skating to an original soundtrack that can be heard in the game Kingdom Hearts and I just adore the song. It's called Treasured Memories and I love the game. It's amazing! This is the thing about being a gamer and an anime lover. You have a huge selection of music to skate to and your options are endless. Anyways, let's all hope everyone participating in the competition has a great time and luck is brought upon them. Happy skating, guys~! Hey guys! I'm glad I finally passed Aussie Freeskate 4! But because I haven't been updating recently, I actually passed the level like, at the end of Term 1! Haha! At the moment, I'm working on my change of foot, Lutz, loop, backspins (all three positions) toe loop, and A LOT of foot work. That includes, outside mohawks, choctaws and heaps more I forgot the names of. I've already started landing my loop and a little bit on my Lutz but I have a lot to work on. Knowing that makes me more excited!
I can only go skating once a week sadly, so if anyone has some suggestions on ways to skate more often, send it in! I'm planning to work at the Icehouse, but I don't have a police check or children's check yet. Not to mention the children's check is frigging 100 bucks for application....I might work at the rollerskating centre for the moment (it's closer to skating :P) and I'm trying to save money for both the children's check and application for the figure skating club. Have fun guys! :) I'm like, really panicking here, guys. THE TEST IS COMING UP IN A COUPLE WEEKS OR SO AND I HAVE TWO JUMPS I CAN'T DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I've been practicing these jumps but I don't see much improvement! I really want to pass the test this time and get into Preliminary.
Although, I guess I know one reason why I don't see much improvement. Lately, I haven't been practicing much because recently I've made a lot of friends at the Icehouse who go every Sunday too, just like me. And so, I'm getting distracted in mucking around with them instead of training. T_T I'm glad today that I told one of the girls (the main one I hang out with) that I'd rather train at the moment, and so she let me. The thing is, I always feel bad afterwards. It's always like that, even with friends who straight away don't even need to tell you that you can just walk off without saying so to start spinning or something. Even with that, I'm thinking, "Oh, I should be hanging out with them" but then my skating is just as important to me as my friends are to me. I guess just don't like having much friends around when I'm at skating, because I want to practice yet at the same time, I don't want to seem snobby and rude and be like, "Oh, my skating is so much important than you. I don't wanna hang out with you, sooooo I think I'm just going to practice as a way of avoiding you." OMG, I'm fucking (excuse the language) ranting off like shit (excuse the language again) right now. You know what, my skating is important and I'm just going to say, "Sweetie, I love you but I have to ditch you right now so I can practice for my upcoming test. BYE~!" Yeah...that sounds good. Yeah, I'll just say that. I seriously can't be fucked in saying anything else. But enough of me ranting, so pretty much, my sit spins have improved as well. I am so much lower than I was weeks ago AND I'M SO GLAD OF THAT. YESS~! I just hope I finally get my flip and waltz-loop jump soon. TT^TT OMG~ I am finally seeing improvement! My sit spin is FINALLY lower, my backspin has more revolutions, and I'm landing my Waltz-loop jump more often (from standstill, I wanna make the standstill consistent first before going from backward crossover entry).
I'm so glad! Now I just really need to focus on my worse enemy: FLIP JUMP~~! I still can't land it, sadly. I keep landing on two feet. :( I really hope I land it soon, I really want to pass my test this term. WISH ME LUCK EVERYONE~ <3 Hi guys! Sorry for not posting in a while. I have no excuse for doing so. :/ But anyways, last year during the Term 4 test, I DID NOT PASS. But oh well. :) My coach told me that I was sooooo close that he thought I was going to pass for a second, if it wasn't for my waltz-loop jump and my flip. But oh well. I don't mind. I understand that I need more practice, because I can't land my flip yet and I can't seem to get into a loop right after the waltz jump. The Christmas Show however, oh my god, I LOVED IT! I hope I can join again this year but I'm not sure considering the expenses just to join in. It's quite funny actually. We have to pay the Medibank Icehouse to perform for the Medibank Icehouse's Christmas Show. Shouldn't it be them paying? Haha, oh well. Now just recently, I thought that my sit spin was good but nooooooooo. After recording a video of it, I realised that I wasn't low enough! >.< OMG I must practice practice practice now. Here is the YouTube video of my sit spin. It's horrible, yeah!? Haha, I just need to get it lower now but oh well. :) Haha! Sorry everyone for not updating my blogs lately. I guess I'll be honest, I forgot! I know, bad excuse. But at least I'm updating now!
Anyways, the Medibank Icehouse is showing a Christmas Show in December again this year, and I am in it! Yay! It's not what I expected, but indeed I'm having fun. We've only started the rehearsals, so there's not much special things going on, but I will be performing in a few songs. I am in "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", "I am the Walrus", "Poker Face" and the finale! I don't think we find out our costumes yet until closer to the performing day, but rehearsals are definitely going by fast and I can't wait for the actual day! I haven't updated much about my progress, but one thing's for sure, I am now in Youth Freeskate 4! I've gone a long way, and still a long way to go! After Freeskate 4, I'll be in Preliminary. Preliminary isn't listed in the Medibank Icehouse's skate school, so I need to figure out how to get into Preliminary if I ever pass my Freeskate 4 test. I'm going to ask someone I know who's passed her Freeskate 4 test. At the moment, I am working on my camel spin (needs a bit of work in the amount of revolutions, but at least I got the basic position right), loop jump (landed it a few times, but still needs a lot of work), Lutz (Luts, loots, however you want to pronounce it. Needs A LOT of work. Can't seem to get the full rotation) and heaps more to work on. I get the feeling that I won't pass this test, because of my Lutz, but I hope I get it right soon. Just yesterday, during public skating, I fell over (just by pathetically standing there, I didn't fall from jumping or spinning... -.-) and hit my head. Thank goodness it was nothing. I only tend to forget things from moments before but now I'm fine. I head doesn't hurt anymore and it's not stopping me from attending Christmas Show rehearsals tomorrow! >:D Test day....the day that would determine whether I was skilled enough to make it to Freeskate 3. I was pretty nervous. My body was so tense, even during the practice before my lessons. Then as soon as lessons started, I couldn't stop making quick, short breaths.
I hated my crossfoot spin. I mean, I can do it, but you know, it's like those times where one time, you can do it and then the next you can't. It was probably just my stiff and tense body that didn't allow fluency to flow through my spin, but I was finally able to do it. I was more worried about my crossfoot spin, everything else was fine but I still couldn't help but be nervous. I mean, I could end up stuffing up and not be able to pass. I still need work on my pivots--both inside and outside--but I still did it right during the test. There was the change of edges, that was easy even though I had one side where that needed more balance. Apparently, as long as the circle I travel on the edge is big enough, then I could pass the change of edges. That's what I did, the circle I travelled was big enough for me to do it well. We also had to do our inside spirals. One side was a bit shaky, which was my right inside but I still made it through. Then there was my left inside. It was the best, if not perfect. I guess I'm better on my left. Even my left outide spiral is better than my right. We also had to do two jumps: salchow and half flip. I'm confident in my jumps. Jumps are what I'm best at. So I didn't have anything to worry about there. Overall, I passed my test (YAY!). So now, next term I'll be doing Youth Freeskate 3. Sadly the others didn't make it. The fact that the others didn't and only I did made me feel bad. They all worked so hard to get this far, and I hope they don't give up skating just because of it. They did a really great job and I know they all have the potential. They just need to open up more. We were all also given a sheet of paper that regarded the Rising Stars Program. I don't really know what it's fully about but it's mainly a time when skaters can come to the Icehouse for extra practice with coaches. While I was walking away, reading the information on the paper, one of the girls in my class tapped my shoulder. I looked at her and she told me how I should join in the Rising Stars and how fun it was. She also told me "Congratulations" for passing. I felt bad for her. I know how I would feel if I didn't make it through this test. So I tried to help by responding, "You did a great job". She smiled and said thanks. Later on, when I saw her in the cafeteria, I could tell she was close to crying. So she walked out and I'm guessing she went to the toilets for a bit of lone time. I pitied her. I wouldn't be able to handle it either if I didn't pass. But I did, and even though I should be happy, I wasn't. I guess my sympathy for the others took over my joy for passing. In the meantime, a friend of mine went ice skating that day for some public skating. She was there to spend time with me, considering we don't go for figure skating lessons on the same day anymore. Had quite the fun actually. But I can't help but still feel bad for the others in my class... I was just at the Icehouse, practicing during the public session. All of the sudden, a member of one of the Icehouse's synchronized team, Finesse approached me with a pamphlet about how Finesse was looking for new members. She told me how Finesse were training to compete in Victorian Championships and the Australian Championships in Brisbane, including Nationals. Hearing this, I was so excited and told my mum about it as soon as she picked me up.
Unfortunately, one of the training sessions are on Friday mornings, and I have no way to get from the city to school without having something to bring me. I would also need more than 1 hour to get to school, considering the city is pretty far from where my school is located. I kept trying to find out how to get around the situation and join in because I really wanted to compete, but my mum told me to leave it alone and wait for another opportunity. I did, and I am leaving it alone, but I can't help but feel devastated about it. I was really hoping to join in and I was even working hard to see a way around the situation. Oh well. Time to move on.... Second lesson back and I was excited. At least until we all had to do crossfoot spins. At first I was like, 'Oh no!' in my head. But then I thought, 'It's better off for me to try today considering I'm actually being taught the steps to it.' So, I got up all my courage to try the spin again.
It was okay. I didn't fall over. Slowly, I got used to it. Even though I was close to falling over a few times, I still practiced my spinning. I'm actually pretty proud even though I didn't ace it. I'm proud because I persisted in spinning despite falling over so shockly last week. I'm pretty proud. ^^ |
AuthorMara Isabel Santos. 19 years old. Currently in Freeskate 4 working on Preliminary. :) Archives
October 2017
Categories |